LESSON #9 — Wanting More Doesn’t Make You Ungrateful
- Loretta & David Allseitz
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
AKA: Gratitude isn’t a cage. Hunger isn’t a flaw.
*PREVIOUS LESSON QUIZ ANSWER*
Before we get into today’s lesson, let’s close out the quiz from Lesson 8.
You were asked what to do when you’re living with someone, sharing space, sharing routines, sharing rent — but quietly realizing the relationship has expired.
The correct dark-side answer?
C.
C) Say: “I’ve been distant because I don’t feel aligned here anymore.”
(Calm. Honest. No performance.)
Because here’s the truth:
Staying silent doesn’t save relationships.
Staying longer than you should just delays the damage.
Alright.
Now let’s talk about a lie that keeps people stuck for years.
LESSON #9 — Wanting More Doesn’t Make You Ungrateful
If Lesson 8 taught you that you’re allowed to leave what’s expired,
Lesson 9 teaches you something even more controversial:
You’re allowed to want more — even when nothing is technically “wrong.”
Let’s break it down, dark-side style.
Gratitude Has Been Weaponized
Somewhere along the way, gratitude stopped being grounding and started being a muzzle.
“You should be thankful.”
“At least you have…”
“Some people would love your life.”
Dark-side translation:
Sit still.
Don’t question.
Don’t disrupt.
Don’t evolve.
Gratitude was never meant to trap you inside a life you’ve outgrown.
It was meant to keep you grounded while you grow.
Contentment and Complacency Are Not the Same Thing
This is where people get confused.
Contentment is peace.
Complacency is fear dressed as acceptance.
Contentment sounds like:
“This chapter served me.”
Complacency sounds like:
“I should just be happy with this.”
Dark-side logic says:
You can appreciate where you are and know it’s not where you’re meant to stay.
Those truths can exist at the same time.
Boredom Isn’t Laziness — It’s a Signal
People love to label boredom as:
laziness
lack of discipline
entitlement
ungratefulness
No.
Boredom is what happens when your nervous system is done learning from the environment you’re in.
It shows up as:
restlessness
irritability
doom-scrolling
daydreaming about “something else”
feeling numb instead of excited
Dark-side truth:
Boredom isn’t a character flaw.
It’s a signal that you’ve stopped expanding.
Wanting More Makes Other People Nervous
Here’s the part nobody likes to admit:
When you want more, people hear:
“What we have isn’t enough.”
“I might leave.”
“You might have to change.”
“You’re no longer predictable.”
So they reach for guilt.
They call you:
ungrateful
restless
dramatic
impossible to satisfy
Dark-side logic says:
People who benefit from your stagnation will always shame your ambition.
That doesn’t make your hunger wrong.
It makes it inconvenient for them.
You Don’t Need a Breakdown to Earn Change
This one matters.
You don’t need:
burnout
betrayal
rock bottom
emotional collapse
a dramatic reason
…to justify wanting something better.
Dark-side truth:
You’re allowed to evolve without bleeding first.
You don’t need to wait until your life is unbearable to choose differently.
Hunger Is Not Disrespectful
Wanting more doesn’t mean you hate what you have.
It means you’re honest enough to notice when a chapter has taught you everything it can.
Dark-siders understand this:
Hunger is information.
Restlessness is data.
Desire is direction.
Ignoring it doesn’t make you grateful.
It makes you disconnected from yourself.
THE SCENARIO — “But Everything Is Fine”
On paper, your life looks solid.
Stable job.
Predictable routine.
No major drama.
Everyone says:
“You’re lucky.”
“You’ve got it made.”
“I don’t see the problem.”
But you feel it.
That quiet itch.
That dull pressure.
That sense of is this it?
Nothing is wrong.
It’s just no longer right.
And for the first time, instead of arguing with that feeling, you listen.
Not to panic.
Not to burn it all down.
Just to acknowledge the signal.
SURVIVAL QUIZ
Dark-side pop quiz time!
Let’s see if you choose survival…
…or stay parked because movement might require courage.
THE QUIZ SCENARIO — The “You Should Be Happy” Trap
You mention feeling restless.
Not miserable.
Not dramatic.
Just… ready for more.
Someone responds with:
“But everything’s going well for you.”
And suddenly you feel guilty for wanting anything different.
Your dark side leans in.
This is a setup. Choose wisely.
THE QUESTION:
What’s the actual DARK-SIDE survival move here?
Choose carefully:
A) Silence the feeling and remind yourself to be grateful.
(Congrats. You just gaslit your own intuition.)
B) Acknowledge the hunger and explore what it’s pointing toward.
(This is awareness. This is agency. This is how expansion starts.)
C) Shame yourself for wanting more when others have less.
(Comparison is not a compass. It’s a cage.)
D) Wait until burnout or resentment gives you a “valid” reason to change.
(Unnecessary suffering is not a personality trait.)
COMMENT YOUR PICK — the official dark-side answer gets revealed at the start of Lesson 10.
Choose wisely…or keep telling yourself you’re ‘grateful’ while your ambition suffocates quietly.
Missed Previous Lessons? Check them out here: Lessons from the Dark Side
— Loretta
Comments