LESSON #6 — You Don’t Need Closure. You Need Distance.

AKA: Closure is a luxury people invented to avoid accepting reality.

*PREVIOUS LESSON QUIZ ANSWER*

Before we dive into today’s lesson, let’s close out the quiz from Lesson 5.

You were asked what to do when someone keeps dragging you into the same crisis, same chaos, same bad decisions—and expects you to keep fixing it.

The correct dark-side answers?

B and D.

B) Ask: “What are YOU going to do about it?”

(Hands responsibility back where it belongs.)

D)  Say: “I’m not able to walk you through this again. You know what needs to happen.” (Firm. Boundaried. Zero emotional babysitting.)

Both are correct because both enforce the same truth:

You are not the consequences department for grown adults.

Alright...

Let’s get into today’s survival lesson—because this one messes with people in a very uncomfortable way.

LESSON #6 — You Don’t Need Closure. You Need Distance.

If Lesson 5 taught you to stop rescuing people from their own messes,

Lesson 6 teaches you something even harder to accept:

Not everything needs to be resolved. Some things just need to be exited.

Let’s break it down, dark-side style…

Closure Isn’t Healing — It’s Negotiation With Reality

People love to say they “just want closure.”

What they usually mean is:

• “I want an explanation that makes this hurt less.”

• “I want them to admit they were wrong.”

• “I want permission to finally move on.”

• “I want reassurance that I mattered.”

Here’s the problem:

If someone had the emotional awareness, accountability, or honesty to give you closure…

They wouldn’t have created the damage in the first place.

Closure assumes cooperation.

Healing does not.

Distance Does What Closure Promises

Closure requires another conversation.

Distance ends the conversation.

Closure reopens wounds.

Distance lets them scar.

Closure asks for clarity.

Distance creates clarity.

The dark side figured this out the hard way:

Distance heals faster than answers ever will.

The “One Last Talk” Trap

You know the line.

“Can we just talk one more time?”

“I just want to explain.”

“I hate how things ended.”

“I think we both deserve closure.”

What they’re really asking for is access.

What they’re really chasing is control.

What they’re really doing is reopening a door you finally managed to shut.

Dark-side truth:

People don’t come to closure conversations to understand.

They come to rewrite history, ease guilt, or regain leverage.

Acceptance Feels Worse Than Closure — At First

Acceptance doesn’t feel good.

It feels final.

It feels disappointing.

It feels like letting go without a speech.

It feels like walking away without applause.

But acceptance does something closure never will:

It frees you without needing anyone else to change.

Walking Away Is Not Avoidance — It’s Resolution

Avoidance is fear.

Distance is a decision.

You’re not “running.”

You’re not “emotionally unavailable.”

You’re not “afraid to face things.”

You just realized:

Some chapters don’t need closure—they need an ending.

THE SCENARIO — “Can We Talk One Last Time?”

Out of nowhere, someone from your past resurfaces.

Someone who:

• hurt you

• disappointed you

• confused you

• drained you

• or disappeared when you needed them most

They say:

“I’ve been thinking a lot.”

“I just want to explain.”

“I feel like we never got closure.”

Your stomach drops.

Old emotions stir.

Your brain starts drafting replies you didn’t ask for.

Part of you wonders:

Would talking help?

Would hearing their side make this easier?

Your dark side cuts in like:

“Or would this just reopen something you already survived?”

Because you already know:

Nothing they say now will undo what they did then.

So instead of responding…You pause.

And you choose distance.

Not out of bitterness.

Out of self-respect.

Peace restored.

SURVIVAL QUIZ

Dark-side pop quiz time!

Let’s see if you choose survival…

…or let nostalgia gaslight you into thinking pain needs a sequel.

THE QUIZ SCENARIO — The “Closure” Text

You get a message that reads:

“Hey. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. Can we talk? I feel like we never got closure.”

Your chest tightens.

Your curiosity spikes.

Your nervous system remembers things you worked hard to forget.

Your dark side whispers:

“This is a fork in the road.”

THE QUESTION:

What’s the actual DARK-SIDE survival move here?

Choose carefully:

A) Agree to talk so you can finally get answers.

(You’ll leave with more questions.)

B) Ask what they want to say before deciding.

(Congrats—you just reopened the door.)

C) Ignore the message completely.

(Silence can be power or avoidance.)

D) Decide you don’t need closure to move forward—and choose distance.

(No response. No explanation. Just peace.)

COMMENT YOUR PICK — the official dark-side answer gets revealed at the start of Lesson 7.

Choose wisely…or I’m assuming you still think “closure” comes wrapped in accountability and a sincere apology.

Missed Previous Lessons? Check them out here: Lessons from the Dark Side

— Loretta

"Unmasking Evil, One Body at a Time"