LESSON #4 — Silence Is a Power Move (Stop Narrating Your Life to People Who Weaponize Information)
- Loretta & David Allseitz
- Dec 8
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 15
AKA: You don’t owe anyone access, explanations, or emotional receipts. Silence is strategy, not attitude.
*PREVIOUS LESSON QUIZ ANSWER*
Before we dive into today’s lesson, let’s close out the quiz from Lesson 3.
You were asked how to respond when someone who’s been giving you attitude, draining your energy, and treating you like a part-time emotional support animal for months, suddenly asks:
“Why are you acting different with me lately?”
The correct dark-side answers?
C and D.
C) “I react to how I’m treated. Respect changes everything.” — clean, controlled, emotionally intelligent.
D) “If you don’t like the version of me you’re getting, try the one your behavior earns.” — feral, accurate, and instantly clarifying.
Both are correct because both remind people of a truth they conveniently forget:
Access to you is earned. Not automatic.
Alright. Let’s get into today’s survival lesson — and oh boy, this one’s gonna hit hard.
LESSON #4 — Silence Is a Power Move
If Lesson 3 taught you that your behavior depends on the person in front of you,
Lesson 4 teaches you something even more dangerous:
Not everyone deserves to know what you’re thinking, what you’re doing, or why you’re doing it.
Some people have mistaken your honesty for availability.
Your openness for obligation.
Your vulnerability for permission.
So you learned the oldest dark-side skill in the book:
Silence.
Not the passive-aggressive kind.
Not the cold-shoulder tantrum kind.
Not the quiet-punishment kind.
No — the strategic silence used by smart, observant adults who finally realized:
Information is power. And some people only show up to steal it.
Let’s break it down, dark-side style…
Silence Isn’t Weakness — It’s Strategy
People think staying quiet means you “don’t know what to say.”
No. You knew exactly what to say.
You just realized they weren’t someone worth saying it to.
Silence protects you more than explaining ever will.
Oversharing Isn’t Honesty — It’s a Trauma Habit
People who grew up around chaos explain EVERYTHING:
what they’re thinking
what they’re doing
why they did it
why they didn’t do it
how they feel
how they hope others feel
It’s not transparency — it’s survival from a time when you were punished for not justifying yourself.
Dark-side growth means:
You don’t owe explanations to people who won’t respect them.
Information Is Currency — Stop Giving Discounts
Some people don’t talk to you because they value you.
They talk to you because they want intel.
They want updates.
Gossip.
Material.
Access.
Tea.
Insight.
Leverage.
And you?
You’ve been handing out emotional coupons like a clearance sale.
Discount closed.
Mystery Protects You From Manipulators
Manipulators need data to operate.
They need details to twist.
They need context to weaponize.
Silence starves them.
The less you share, the less they have to misinterpret.
The quieter you become, the more comfortable you feel — and the more uncomfortable THEY do.
Not Everyone Gets the Full Story — That’s Not Dishonesty
People love to act offended when you don’t give them all the details.
“You never tell me anything anymore!”
Correct.
I don’t.
Because I learned something powerful:
Some people get headlines.
Some people get bullet points.
Some people get silence.
Only my inner circle gets the director’s cut.
That’s not secretive.
That’s selective.
Quiet People Aren’t Cold — They’re Observing
The dark side doesn’t speak first.
It watches.
Listens.
Calculates.
Collects data.
Reads the energy.
Identifies motives.
Assesses patterns.
People mistake your silence for distance.
Mmm. No.
It’s called evaluation.
THE SCENARIO — The Nosy “I Just Care!” Spy
Someone who’s always a little too curious, a little too chatty, and a little too inconsistent suddenly pops up with:
“Hey!! Haven’t heard from you! What’s new?? 😇”
The halo emoji says “sweet.”
Their history says “CIA internship.”
You give a polite, neutral response:
“Oh, just keeping busy.”
But they push.
No, they dig.
“But like… doing WHAT?? Tell me!!”
Mmm.
Your dark side slides into the driver’s seat wearing boots.
Because this person has:
gossiped about you
twisted your words
shared your business
acted offended when you set boundaries
treated your life like entertainment
So you reply — calmly, kindly, and surgically:
“I only share details with people who know how to hold them.”
Silence.
They fumble for a reply.
You sip your drink.
Peace restored.
SURVIVAL QUIZ
Dark-side pop quiz time!
Let’s see if you choose survival...
…or spill intel like an amateur suspect the moment someone gently knocks on your boundaries.
THE QUIZ SCENARIO — The “I Just Want to Know!” Interrogation
It’s a normal day.
You’re quiet.
Peaceful.
Drinking water.
Minding your grown-up business like a responsible menace.
Then—
PING.
A message from someone who has never once respected your privacy, your boundaries, or your sanity.
You open it and see:
“Sooo… what have you been up to? Tell me everything!”
Ah.
The classic nosy neighbor disguised as a friend ambush.
Your dark side cracks its knuckles.
Because you KNOW what’s happening:
They don’t “miss” you.
They don’t “care.”
They don’t “just want to check in.”
They want information.
Information to gossip with.
Information to dissect.
Information to twist when they get bored.
And you sit there staring at the message thinking:
Why do the nosiest people always give the least?
Why do people who don’t support you think they’re entitled to updates?
And why do they act offended when you stop offering free emotional subscriptions?
Your survival instincts kick in:
This is a setup. Choose wisely.
Because you KNOW:
If you overshare, they’ll weaponize it.
If you justify your silence, they’ll push harder.
If you apologize, they’ll think they have a right to your business.
And if you tell the truth… well… someone’s halo is going to fall off.
Congrats, you’ve reached another dark-side decision point.
THE QUESTION:
What’s the actual DARK-SIDE survival move here?
Choose carefully:
A) Say:
“I’m keeping that private for now.”
Clean. Controlled. Impossible to twist.
B) Tell them everything so they “don’t get the wrong idea.”
(They’ll get the wrong idea anyway. It’s their cardio.)
C) Reply:
“I don’t share details with people who don’t know how to hold them.”
Feral. Surgical. Immediately clarifies the assignment.
D) Apologize for being private and overshare to ease the tension.
(The fastest route to regret. Do not revive the old you.)
COMMENT YOUR PICK — the official dark-side answer gets revealed at the start of Lesson 5.
Choose wisely… or we’re giving you the kind of side-eye usually reserved for people who say “Whataburger is overrated.”
Missed Previous Lessons? Check them out here... "Lessons from the Dark Side".
-Loretta
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