LESSON #2 — Not Caring What People Think Isn’t Rebellion. It’s Survival.
- Loretta & David Allseitz
- Dec 4
- 4 min read
Updated: Dec 15
AKA: You didn’t “stop caring.” You just stopped treating strangers’ opinions like commandments.
Before we jump into Lesson 2, let’s address the Survival Quiz from last time:
If you were torn between C and D, congratulations — that means your dark side is functioning exactly as intended.
Option C (“Please summarize the situation in one message.”) is the strategic response. It forces a chaos-driven adult to slow down, organize their drama, and respect your emotional bandwidth before dragging you into their storm.
Option D (Do Not Disturb + snacks + bed) is the mastery response — the moment you realize their “emergency” was never yours to fix, and protecting your peace is the only intelligent choice.
C is boundary-setting. D is self-preservation. Both are correct, depending on how much energy you’re willing to waste on someone else’s midnight meltdown.
With that out of the way, it’s time to address the real villain of adulthood: worrying about other people’s opinions. Lesson 2 is where we kill that habit.
Living Like Every Day Is Your Last Isn’t Reckless. It’s Clarity.
Let’s start with another truth no one likes to say out loud:
You didn’t wake up one day and magically become “unbothered,” “too bold,” or “too confident,”.
You became that way because life taught you — over and over — that caring what people think is the fastest way to lose your sanity, your peace, your identity, and your whole damn decade.
And this whole “living like it’s your last day”?
You didn’t choose that because you're chaotic.
You chose it because you finally realized:
People die with regrets.
Not with approval.
The dark side gets this.
The light side…? They're too busy worrying about Yelp reviews from humans they don’t even like.
So let’s break THIS down, dark-side style.
Not Caring Isn’t Cold — It’s Prioritization
People love to call you “unbothered,” “too direct,” “too confident,” or “intimidating.”
Translation? You stopped shrinking to make insecure people feel safe.
Here’s what you actually learned:
People will judge you no matter what
Opinion-based decisions age like spoiled milk
Most critics aren’t even happy themselves
Approval doesn’t pay bills or buy peace
Nobody cares that much — everyone is obsessed with themselves
Letting go of other people’s opinions isn’t rebellious.
It’s efficient.
It’s “I have shit to do.”
It’s “I no longer explain myself to bored spectators.”
And it’s one of the strongest dark-side traits you can have.
Living Like It’s Your Last Day Isn’t Reckless — It’s Removing Dead Weight
You didn’t adopt the “life is short” mindset because you’re wild.
You adopted it because:
waiting for the perfect moment kept screwing you over
being cautious got you nowhere
fear wasted years
other people’s comfort slowed you down
your dreams weren’t getting any younger
Living like it’s your last day means:
you stop waiting
you stop seeking permission
you stop living small
you choose YOUR life over their expectations
you take the risk because staying stuck is worse
It’s not chaos.
It’s clarity.
It’s “I could die next Tuesday and I’ll be DAMNED if I waste today people-pleasing.”
The dark side calls this liberation.
The light side calls it “selfish.”
Guess which side sleeps better?
Confidence Isn’t Arrogance — It’s Self-Ownership
People hate confident women — especially ones who don’t need validation.
Why?
Because you’re living proof they could be doing more with their lives.
Confidence isn’t:
bragging
arrogance
attention-seeking
It’s simply:
“I know who I am, and no, you don’t get to vote on it.”
The dark side isn’t about destruction.
It’s about unapologetic self-ownership.
You’re not intimidating.
They’re intimidated.
Big difference.
Bold Choices Aren’t Immaturity — They’re Momentum
Every “bold” choice you’ve made?
changing your hair
changing your job
leaving a relationship
starting something new
wearing the outfit
posting the selfie
taking the risk
saying the thing
making the move
Those weren’t impulsive.
Those were decisions made by someone who realized fear isn’t worth the price.
Boldness is momentum.
And momentum is survival.
Standing still is how life ends early — long before the body does.
THE SCENARIO — The Judgy Coworker Who Thinks You Need Their Permission to Live
It’s a random Tuesday.
You walk into work (or the gym, or wherever) feeling GOOD:
New haircut.
New outfit.
New confidence.
New chapter.
New energy that says “I cleaned out my baggage and the trash took itself out.”
You’re minding your business.
Then suddenly —Here they come.
The Human Smoke Detector for Confidence.
They clock you from across the room like you committed a crime.
And then the commentary starts:
“Wow… that’s a bold look.”
Translation: Please go back to being small so I can feel comfortable again.
A few minutes later:
“Are you going through something?”
Translation: Confidence must be a symptom.
Then the classic:
“People have been talking.”
Translation: I need backup because my opinion alone isn’t enough to stop you.
Most people would get flustered.
Shrink. Tone it down.
But the dark-side version of you?
You’re DONE collecting opinions from people who peaked in 2013.
You look them dead in the face and say:
“Good thing I'm not living my life for commentary.”
No explanation.
No apology.
Just clarity.
Silence.
Their brain blue-screens.
And THAT is the moment they realize:
You stopped performing.
You stopped waiting.
You stopped caring.
Your dark side didn’t make you mean —It made you free.
**You’ve seen how the dark side handles judgment.
Now let’s see how YOU handle someone trying to shrink your confidence.**
SURVIVAL QUIZ
Dark-side pop quiz time!
Let’s see if you choose survival…or crumble like a gas station sandwich the minute someone throws a passive-aggressive opinion your way.
THE QUIZ SCENARIO — The Confidence Saboteur
You post something online:
a bold photo, a new outfit, a life update, a big decision —and someone drops the classic judgment nuke:
“Well… if that makes you happy.”
You feel that familiar urge to explain yourself.
But wait.
This is a survival moment.
THE QUESTION:
What’s the actual DARK-SIDE survival move here?
Choose carefully:
A) Over-explain your choice so they stop judging you.
(Spoiler: they won’t.)
B) Let it bother you and spiral about it all day.
(You’ve done that before. It sucked.)
C) Say, “It does.” and move on.
(Direct. Clean. Free.)
D) Laugh and reply, “Luckily my life isn’t a group project.”
COMMENT YOUR PICK
I’ll reveal the official dark-side answer at the start of Lesson 3.
Don’t panic — it’s only your entire personality on trial.
-Loretta
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