Happy Birthday to the Woman Who Installed My Attitude Problem

You built the attitude. I just took it public and made it everyone else’s issue.

Today is my mom’s birthday — the woman responsible for the blueprint of my personality, my resting-bitch-face efficiency, and the exact level of “try me” energy I walk around with daily.

Let’s be clear: She didn’t raise a princess. She raised a walking warning label with great hair.

My attitude? Absolutely her fault. She delivered it, modeled it, fine-tuned it, and handed it over like a family heirloom — except sharper, louder, and significantly less returnable.

And honestly, props to her. Most parents try to raise polite, quiet, well-behaved children. Mine said, “Nah, let’s build one with personality.”

So here’s to the woman who:

• Could cut a man down with a single eyebrow.

• Says exactly what she means without adding decorative fluff.

• Walks into a room like she paid for the building.

• Can smell bullshit from three counties away.

• And still manages to look unbothered doing it.

If you’ve ever wondered why I don’t filter myself…

Why I stand my ground…

Why I can’t resist a good smartass comment…

Or why I’m allergic to fake people…

Just know: she had a hand in every one of those features.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

Thanks for raising a menace with manners.

A storm with eyeliner.

A whole personality with warranty voided.

Enjoy your day — you earned it.

(And so did everyone who has to deal with me.)

Love You,

LoLo